DavidSays

When swallows make more sense than humans

 By DAVID CASUCO

For several days in November last year thousands of swallows took refuge at the empty parking lot of the former K-Mart store along San Fernando Road near the I-5 and 2-Freeway interchange. They cast a head-turner of a scene for the early-morning traffic. People were intrigued by their sudden and unlikely presence; I was

In a sense, swallows make more sense than humans

particularly fascinated and drawn to their tempting beauty. So on the second week, on my way to Downtown L.A. for some weekend worship, I got off the bus and joined some people watch and feed them birds.

What I got was a lot more than what I was trying to bargain for. Not only was I able to touch them, but also engaged in an enlightening conversation.

Swallow One: Hi, good morning. Do you need anything?

Me: (Visibly shaken) You… you talk?

Swallow Two: Of course we do. Our communication ways are simple: We hoot, coo, squawk; we warble, we squall, we cluck; but we understand each other perfectly. You can imagine we do not have what humans call “irreconcilable differences.” Roadmaps to peace summits, we don’t need them.

Me: I know that, but… I mean, how did you learn to speak perfect California English?

Swallow One: We are from North America. We are native English speakers. Hey, sehr, I notice your exotic accent.

Me: I am sorry about that. That is the best I could do. I was born in the Philippines, that’s why.

Swallow One: Oh, that is perfectly fine. There is nothing bad about it. In fact, I like people with accent; that means they know something else. Besides, it would be very boring if all the birds and humans in the world speak California accented English. (Swallow Two and some swallows snicker).

Me: See, they are laughing at me.

Swallow One: No. Not at all. They are just amused by your typical self-deprecating Asian attitude.

Me: Thanks. But aren’t you guys supposed to be in San Juan Capistrano at this time of the year? Why are you hanging around here in this God-forsaken place. You guys are exposing yourselves to harm’s way. Haven’t you heard about drive-by shooting? This is L.A.  If these idiots can shoot humans, birds to them are no more than fun games.

Swallow Two: This group here is actually in transit; what we are doing is “people-watching.” We are here to learn more about humans — how they go about life and living… Of course, we are aware of… what do you call it again?

Me: Drive-by shooting.

Swallow Two: Drive-by shooting, yes. That is why we hang out here only in the morning. Bad guys usually spend their mornings in bed. You are a journalist, aren’t you? You know what I’m talking about. And you are a bird-whisperer, but you don’t know it.

Me: How did you know I am a journalist?

Swallow Two: When you were in Kuala Lumpur, under that big tree laboring on your SEA Games sports coverage, I already saw you.

Me: You sound like Jesus, the son of the living God. You are right, though, I was in Kuala Lumpur for the SEA Games in 1989. (Swallow Two responds an impish grin. Swallows around laughing guardedly).

Me: Now, allow me this question: Why are you swallows… you seem to have no worries at all. I mean, compared to us humans and our myriad of problems. It’s unfair. You guys don’t even have jobs, and look at you — well-fed and your feathers perfectly in place, arrayed in elegant raiment better than King Solomon.

Swallow One: We don’t need to have jobs. Someone else is taking care of us. He created us, so he promised us to take care of our needs according to His riches in glory.

Me: Now, wait a minute, you mean you leave everything to your Creator? I don’t think so. I have a problem with that. My impression is that you guys are just carefree and irresponsible.

Swallow Two: That is where Einstein and most intelligent men fail. They believe in God, but they do not trust Him.

Swallow One: In fact, Jesus was talking about this in the bible, “Look at the birds in the air; they do not sow nor reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you not much more valuable than they?”  Are you listening, Mr. Journalist? Read Matt. 6:26.

Me: You swallows seem so keen on spirituality. Your task theology is impeccable. Where and how did you get that knowledge? Do you belong to a church?

Swallow Three: Church knowledge? Nah. We don’t do church. We keep God’s words in our hearts. Those self-righteous maggots and stiff-dead religious crabs are doing it wrong, a lot of them anyway. They attend church fellowships and community religious services every weekend, but on weekdays…what? They are themselves. They run all sorts of scams at esoteric Templetown.

Swallow Three: Sin, Mr. Dave, sin. It’s man’s sinful acts that make life and living an unpleasant journey. But if you fellowship with us, swallows, life is a neverending magic carpet ride. Urrk, I forgot; you don’t have wings!

“Hey, they like you!” butted in someone at my back.

“You bet, they do. In fact, I am having a conversation with them.”

“In your dreams. Have a nice day, sehr.”

(David Casuco obtained his journalism degree from the University of Santo Tomas and took expanded theological studies at the Angelus Bible College in Los Angeles. He writes sports and spirituality for examiner.com)